Tuesday, April 26, 2005

Wanted: Preferably Alive

Missing:One Yumoo Pet
Name: Leone
Missing Since: April 16th, 2005
Description:Loud, lazy, frumpy brown hair, likes pink, pale unmoisterized skin
Last Seen Wearing: I dunoo
Last Known Whereabouts:Chuck's house
Last Seen:Entering Jenn's car (very suspicious)
Reward: Um.... Ativan. Ha, yeah
I'm not too concerned. It's more of a passing thought. Though I do miss the solitude. I miss biting Riley. I worry about all the evil things taking over the place. I also, possibly, maybe, miss my pet's lap. Possibly maybe.

Monday, April 18, 2005

The Evil One

Ah yes, the Evil One. She is tall with pretty streaked gold hair. She wears many a nice thing I want to rip. The humans call her 'Coroo' or something such. However, she is evil. I must spit and hiss, flatten my ears against my skull, puff out my tail, raise the hairs along my spine and walk sideways. Why is she evil you ask?
She took a bath and shut the door!
Yes it is true! You think evil like this can't exist until it happens.

On other news Chuck and I are solving many mysteries together through kicking each other's ass. (I guess in that sense he's kinda like Faith.... but no.)

Friday, April 15, 2005

Ant Slayer

In every household there is a Chosen One. I alone will stand against the ants, the flying bugs, and the spray of waterbottles. I am the Slayer.

I kill the ants. I lick them into the carpet, I smoosh them with my wet nose, I pounce on them with both paws from up high. I am an Ant Slayer.

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

So amazingly evil things

The Bears made a Spawnkitty official Good Point. Bear Baitin' is amazingly evil. Amazing evil things are things that are so evil they freakishly trump evil things on an evil list and hence need their own list, an amazingly evil list. This is a very serious list and bear baitin' is right at the top. Plagarism is fourth.

Evil things

Things that are evil:
  • The thing that will not be said
  • tinfoil
  • doors
  • carpets
  • plastic bags
  • anything inside a plastic bag
  • yarn
  • milk tags
  • window screens
  • loose tea
  • glasses
  • boxes of kleenex
  • shoelaces
  • pens
  • tape
  • bobby pins
  • computer mouse
  • blinds
  • kitty litter scoop
  • cupboards
  • toes
  • fingers
  • Jen's scalp
  • loom
  • answering machine
  • hairballs
And that is it.

Yo, dude

Calm down.

Monday, April 11, 2005


There's a backspace button? Nobody told me there was a backspace button. I have more rage to vent. The CD rack shall die.

The Bears

In lieu of my crush of Daphne Rose... Dammit, wrong phrase. Ignore that. In lieu of past events, I, Spike the Cat, apologize to Mauja the Bear for biting his head.



I hate commercials where cats meow along to songs. No cat does that. It's not real.
But that commercial where a human eats cat food is wrong. They don't even share human food and now they eat our food? I must go vent.


Naps are essential to all beings. Spawnkitties or not. I prefer on my tiger bed, my giant bed, or an open textbook. These are all good.

Friday, April 08, 2005

Spawnkitty poetry

Spawnkitty poetry is a controversial and challenging art. All Spawnkitty poetry must follow Spawnkitty Poetry rules.

Spawnkitty Poetry Rules
  1. Spike decides what is Spawnkitty poetry and what is not.
  2. Must be concerned with major Spawnkitty themes. Spawnkitties know what the themes are.

Rules of Blog

There are rules to this.

  1. No saying the word that cannot be said (fyi: waterbottle)
  2. Donations of tuna are appropriate.
  3. All that Spawnktties say is legit.
  4. Bears are within the realm of Spawnkitties
  5. I bite.

Spawnkitties Unite!

My name is Spike. I am a spawnkitty. I suffer through humans in order to eat tuna. And now I blog.