My Fortunes

My pet got chinese food last night. She wanted to marry the delivery boy. She doesn't want me telling you that. She wouldn't let me eat the chinese food. I tried to climb inside the bag to bite the plastic things of plum sauce and soya sauce but she took them away. She did let me pick a fortune cookie though. I picked the best one. It had five fortunes in it. They are stupid and inclusive but I'm going to blog about them anyways.
1. Your mentality is alert, practical, and analytical. I don't understand how this is a fortune. Though I don't dispute its truthfulness.
2. A modest man never talks of himself. First of all, it's not only male humans eating fortune cookies. Second of all, stating lame facts is still not a fortune.
3. A handful of patience is worth a bushel of brains. I asked my pet about this one. She didn't know where I could find bushels of brains so I bit her. Than she pushed me away. Obviously, she has neither of these qualities.
4. You will pass a difficult test that will make you happier. This one is cool. I lead a very difficult life.
5. You are very expressive and positive in words, action, and feeling. My pet laughed at this one. I'm going to bite her.

Oh yeah, and my pet says I have to say thanks to Jenn, Coral, Ativan, and Chuck for housing me while she was off getting drunk in Kitimat.



I'm going to kick your ass Chuck.

Punk.