Dear humoos

Chuck and I have noticed that you all have been coming and going a lot lately. We would like to lay down some groundrules.

• Jenn- even though Chuck and I enjoy your tounge scraper we would like you to buy us each an individual one so we don't have to share yours anymore.
  
• Jim- we were just getting used to your lap. We will accept you back if you come bearing cat treats.
  
• Leone- you are moving around too much at night. Next time you decide to shift your feet we will be forced to take action. It's our bed. Deal.
• General- next one who calls me (Spike) a lapcat is going to get it. I am using you all for your laps. Don't take it as a sign of affection. Winters in this place are friggin cold.
  
• General- next one who comments on Chuck's stinky ass, even though it is stinky and leaky, will get leaked on.
  
• Stop moving the bloody scratching post. Chuck and I need it infront of the window to keep an eye on the street. Chaos will break out if we don't. It's true.
  

Now, toe or line or there will be more knocking the food out of the food dish and all around kitty craziness.

Not really all that sincerely,
Spike and Chuck.